The thoughts, stories and advice of Bill Riddell.

Life Lessons

July 2nd, 2009 Posted in advice

Today I present to you a handful of life lessons. Each one of these topics were destined to become a blog post in their own right, but most have sat as rough outlines for over 6 months on my computer.

Since I’m clearing house, rather than delete what was already there I have joined them together, added a bit of polish and here is the result.

I’m sure you will get something out of it and it will push me to create some more original posts for you to read, rather than stretch the contents below out for a month or so.

The Users Guide to Criticism

“If you limit your actions in life to things that nobody can possibly find fault with, you will not do much.” – Lewis Carroll

A lot of us tend to think of criticism as something incredibly negative, but that should not always be the case. I’ve learnt to love it along with all other forms of feedback.

As much as the sting of criticism hurts, you must learn to harness that. Turn it into a positive force, an iron will to overcome and improve.

Take it as a compliment. If you’re being mediocre and just getting by, chances are you’re not going to get much criticism. But if you are pushing the envelope and doing great things then the naysayers will come along. I’m really disappointed that I haven’t really received much hate mail yet – it shows I need to keep working harder and pushing the envelope.

If you take a strong stance you are going to incur the wrath of people taking the opposite view point while gaining the admiration of the side you support. Sitting on the fence will not really win you any support or criticism.

If you live in fear of criticism and shy away from your dreams because of it then the critics are winning without even having to write a word or raise their voice.

At the same time, don’t ignore criticism. Not all of it is constructive, but there is almost always something that can be learnt from it.

Finally, remember that you cannot please everyone.

Learning the Hard Way – Make More Mistakes

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” – Oscar Wilde

I am terribly afraid of making mistakes but am beginning to embrace them more. I want to make mistakes and I think you should too.

Mistakes are just feedback, telling you to do it differently, to do it better. Think of them as sign posts to success rather than dead ends. Each mistake you make gets you closer to where you want to be.

Some things can be learnt from books, blogs and speeches but many of the big lessons in life can only be taught from one’s own struggle to find truth and get things done. More often than not this involves screwing up.

Remember The School of Hard Knocks is a non-profit educational institute of The Real World and provides tough lessons that you will remember.

Forget Multi-Tasking, Keep It Simple & Get It Done

“Our life is frittered away by detail… simplify, simplify.” – Henry David Thoreau

This is particularly appropriate for mere males like myself. We are incapable of focusing on more than one thing at a time. About the only time I multi-task with any degree of success is by sitting on the toilet and reading, hardly an achievement. I apologise for the mental image.

Ladies you are welcome to feel smug, however if you are working on something of any importance I would recommend giving it your undivided attention.

There is no big secret, if you want to get something done keep working on it until it is complete. Stay “in The Now” as Oprah’s home boy Eckhart Tolle would say, take regular study/work breaks and return to that single task until it is finished, then move onto your next goal.

If it is an overwhelming task break it down into parts, complete one part and continue with the next. Not always as simple as it sounds, but it is a lot more efficient than doing a little bit of part A, then a little bit of part B, back to part A before continuing with part C and so on.

The next thing is to make sure are being effective by doing the right things. If part C is not essential, don’t do it. Focus the effort that would have gone into it on completing part A to as high a standard as desired.

Procrastination vs. Gestation

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” – George Carlin

There is a big gulf between procrastination and gestation (giving birth to your idea – thinking things through) that causes a lot of neglect and confusion. As a result taking the time to think through an idea can be viewed negatively.

Often this is with good reason. We can spend far too long procrastinating, weighing up the options, considering how things might go wrong and achieving nothing but a headache.

Gestation is taking the time to improve your idea – rather than thinking over all the ways your plan could go wrong, it is letting your ideas percolate and tick over in your mind.

There are several stages of gestation in my writing that can often be mistaken for procrastination. The initial idea for a blog post typically comes when I’m doing precious little, I might write a line or two, or create a dot pointed outline. From there the post may sit for weeks or months as I collect ideas and coming back to it to complete a draft with fresh thinking. It may then be a few days or weeks until I return to the work, look for errors, omissions and polish the writing.

I could push ahead and finish the same post within an hour or two of the initial idea, however it would rarely be as complete and well written.

Procrastination typically occurs for two different types of tasks. The incredibly dull and unappealing, which should be eliminated if possible, otherwise completed without delay. On the opposite end of the scale is the incredibly big and intimidating tasks, for these you have to divide it into manageable chunks, make a start and set deadlines to keep you motivated.

  1. 2 Responses to “Life Lessons”

  2. By Luke Massan on Jul 9, 2009

    I love that Lewis Carrol quote.
    Overall solid tips – shame about the mental image, but you make a good point about multi-tasking.

  3. By Bill on Jul 18, 2009

    Once again I am sorry Luke, I promise that will be the last time I discuss my bathroom habits for at least a few months. Glad you liked the quote – it is one of my favorites.

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